Velo City Cycles

By Ross Schueller

My teeth are chattering. Possibly because I’m cold, possibly because there is a chance I will fall off my bike and get run over. Got the sweater on, the full finger gloves, the tights, a warm hat under the helmet. Got my game face on, and I’m standing with 25 other nut-cases at the start line.

What is that guy with the bull-horn saying near the start line? Something about laps…3 laps?

GOOOOOOOoooooo! All the bikes around me are moving…fast. Surprisingly fast.

First little bit okay, breathe, find my rhythm and get comfortable. I’m still near the front after 50 feet. I guess that is a moral victory of sorts. At least I didn’t crash before I crossed the starting line!

I did that practice lap. But I was trying so hard not to fall off my bike that I don’t remember much in the way of course strategy. Man, everyone is making a hard right turn ahead – I should probably slow down to get ready. Too late, crank it around. Back tire got squirrely for a second, but I’m still upright. Need to pick a better line on the next lap.

Right turn has me off the pavement now. On the grass, and a side hill. This is weird, the bike keeps wanting to drift left down the hill. Keep it straight, and keep pedaling damn it. Another right turn coming – no need to slow down this time, the grass is sucking up all the speed I had.

Around the corner and another straight-away on grass. This is easy.

Another right turn and then everyone is flipping a u-turn around a tree in front of me. Man, they are hopping off the bikes fast, must be barriers coming up. I’m trying to remember what I read online about how to do this barrier thing.

Oops, I damn near fell on my face clipping out of the pedals while getting around the corner. No big deal, only a few people right behind me. Just move my butt and get over the barriers. Pick up the bike – yes, UP – on my shoulder and run! These guys behind me are going to run me over if I don’t get moving. Who talked me in to this?

Over the first barrier, and try to jump over the second one. Damn, caught a toe, tripped, stumbled. Heroic effort kept me on my feet, but now I need to get back on the bike. A quick look back says that barrier just isn’t that tall. I should be able to jump that no problem, even with a bike on my shoulder. Don’t worry, I’ll make it look smooth on the next lap. Who talked me in to this?

Forward, grass, everyone is still going fast, but man it is bumpy on the grass. My heart rate must be about a million by now. Tt’s just a straight away, this shouldn’t be so hard.

Another right turn, easy one this time. Now a quick left and on to some pavement – wooo hooo – looks like I have about a 1⁄4 mile of straight road ahead. Heart rate is still way up there, but that’s ok because now I am hauling down this stretch of road. Except I just got passed like I was standing still. Holy crap those guys were going fast.

Quick left turn and on to some dirt. Big mud puddle ahead, I skip to the left of it and manage to stay upright. Little straight-away then another sharp left, and I am in the woods, single track trail.

This isn’t bad. The dirt is hard packed, it’s easy to steer, no one can pass me because there isn’t room, and I can get some speed going. So why are there four guys in front of me stopped?

Oh crap, coming out of the woods I slam into 10 foot long section of beach sand. There are already ruts in the sand 6” deep. Wheels get goofy and the bike starts getting sideways. Keep pedaling, the only way through is to pedal to the other side. Stay upright and pedal. Heart rate is still climbing. Who talked me in to this?

Across another section of grass and another 10 foot section of sand – this time I saw it coming and got ready for it – but the bike still got sideways and I still just barely kept the tires facing the earth. My heart is about to burst, and now my legs are starting to feel it.

Another little section of grass. But then a sudden turn right and up a short little hill. It’s not much, no need to shift, just stand up and power my way up. Except I stand up and all the weight comes off my back wheel, the tire is spinning as I climb. I’m feeling pretty powerful spinning my tire, but it isn’t helping me get to the top of this little hill.

Sharp turn left, back down the same little hill. Almost no room at the crest to turn – watch for toe overlap at the crest – remember that for lap two. If I can survive this one.

Long stretch of grass. Looks like I am heading for a hill, a good sized one. Ok, up one little hill and then 90 degrees left across the slope of the hill. This isn’t bad, but the bike wants to drift left again, down the hill. Right turn at the tree ahead.

Must be the hill goes up steep on the other side of the tree, going to have to carry the bike up the hill. Round the tree and there are three big logs blocking the way up the hill. Bike on shoulder again – man, my arms shouldn’t be this tired already – and I swear an old lady with a walker just passed me. Who talked me in to this?

Climbing up, run! Heart rate is definitely maxed out. Okay, near the top of the hill and it is leveling out. Throw the bike down and hop on, pedal up the hill. Now back down the other side – wait, WAIT, sharp turn left around this tree and then across the face of the steepest part of the hill. Crap, keep it upright. Huge ruts in the dirt. Sand is coming loose – even mountain goats wouldn’t walk on this slope and I’m trying to keep my bike upright as I ride across it? Who talked me in to this?

Okay, another quick left around a tree. Watch the ruts in the dirt. Turn back up the hill a bit, now a hard right and back down the hill. Pedal, pedal. A quick look at the speedo says I hit 26 on the downhill – NICE – keep that speed going to the finish line. Almost done.

Okay, a set of three barriers. I can see them coming. This should be easy: clip out, jump over, and clip back in. Except, my legs feel like lead. Jumping isn’t quite as easy as it should be. No matter, I’m over the three, now on to some pavement and the finish line. Whooo – there it is – I made it. I survived my first ever ‘cross. Except that was only lap 1. Who talked me in to this?

Now just 2 more laps like that one and I can actually celebrate surviving the C race. Or, at least breathe normally. I must be out of my mind. Man, this is a blast. I’m glad I let someone talk me in to this!!